Navigation Bar

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Mom Guilt

Mom guilt... a "feeling of guilt, doubt, anxiousness, or uncertainty experienced by mother's when they worry they are failing or falling short of expectations in some way (source)."

Any mom's out there feel like this? I know I do, and maybe more frequently then I care to admit.   It is something I never fully expected to experience and at times can seem crippling.  I find that I experience it in in several different ways... it is the small voice in my head saying I am not doing enough for my kiddo, or teaching him enough.  It comes in the form of tears when I feel as if I was to hard on my little one for not listening, or being naughty.  It comes as part of the comparison trap, where I constantly compare myself and my little dude to others and feel as if I am falling short of some invisible expectation or standard.

I'm telling you all this because if you are feeling this way, I want you to know you aren't alone and because I want to share with you a few tricks that have helped me battle my mom guilt.   So here they are, my little tips and tricks for battling the sometimes never ending Mom Guilt!
  1. When the small voice in my head tells me I am not good enough or that I am not doing enough I remind myself that I am the best mother for my little guy.  I tell myself that I know my kid better then anyone and this helps ease the chatter in my head.  I remind myself that I am human, and I am not going to have everything figured out all the time.  That I am going to make mistakes, and that’s ok.  You know the best part, your son or daughter still loves you regardless, even when you mess up!   
  2. When the tears start to flow because I feel like I have been to harsh on my little guy, I make sure to let him know that I still love him and that his actions (not listening, being naughty) don’t make me stop loving him. I make sure to talk to him about why he got in trouble and then follow it up with a hug and a kiss and a few extra snuggles.  Disciplining a toddler or any kiddo is hard especially on us mommy’s but just make sure your kiddo understands their punishment, what actions got them to said punishment and that this doesn’t change how much you love them. 
  3. Finally the comparison trap!   When I feel like I am constantly comparing myself to other mom’s out there and start to feel as though  I am falling short I try to shut those thoughts down quickly.  I remind myself again that I am the best mom for my child and that I am doing the best I can!  And then I take a little break from social media (or try not to look at it as much).  Most of the time when I start comparing myself to others it is because I have been on social media to much.  I find taking little breaks from Social Media helps keep my thoughts in check and helps me not to compare myself to others mommy's out there!
I hope these little tips helped and remember you aren’t alone!  Being a mom is tough work, and we are all doing the best we can!